Academy Nicholl’s Comments 2020

THE JOSEPHUS CONSPIRACY. A science fiction thriller about a hacker name MAGS who works with the Israeli government to fight back against her power-obsessed uncle, HAYWARD. Through a bio-metric wafer, Hayward has found a way to control entire countries by making everyone reliant on his company. The premise is original and touches upon relevant issues such as technology, capitalism, and religion. The story has high stakes and strong conflict. The structure of the narrative, however, could use a little more finessing. In the current draft, the flashbacks break up the flow of action which makes the plot feel disjointed and more challenging to follow. That being said, the story has high stakes and the action becomes increasingly tense, particularly towards the end, when Hayward decides to start bombing Israel.

The writing has a strong voice and specific vision. The characters are intriguing. Mag is a hacker who goes against her uncle even if it means risking her life. The secondary characters, like INSPECTOR ERAS and BRANDON add interest and texture to the story. Mag’s uncle HAYWARD proves to be a dangerous adversary who generates intense conflict.